Trauma and Couple Therapy

Trauma and couple therapy is a specialized area of counseling that emphasizes how individuals can grow and heal within the context of their relationships, especially when trauma is part of the picture. 

While childhood trauma can shape a person’s ability to emotionally connect, communicate with, and trust others (MacIntosh, 2019), individuals who have experienced trauma also possess incredible adaptability and strength. Survivors who form relationships may encounter some difficulties with communication or intimacy, however, these challenges can also be considered as opportunities for growth and deeper understanding (MacIntosh, 2016).

Those who have experienced childhood trauma may face emotional regulation difficulties. In some instances, survivors may feel the urge to withdraw or shut down when emotions become intense. However, this is a natural coping mechanism rooted in past experiences. When they work on developing skills to better regulate emotions, couples can start to view their relationship as a space for healing, compassion, and emotional connection. Rather than seeing emotional moments as obstacles, they can become opportunities for building empathy and mutual support.

With the help of a skilled therapist, individuals can understand how past trauma influences current relationship dynamics and can tap into their inherent strengths and resilience, deepen their bond, and create a loving, safe environment (Platt and Freyd, 2015). If you and your partner are navigating the impact of individual or shared trauma in your relationship, therapy can help you both build the skills to regulate emotions, manage conflict, deepen intimacy, and restore connection in all aspects of your partnership.

References

Godbout, N., Runtz, M. G., MacIntosh, H. B., & Briere, J. (2013). Childhood trauma and couple relationships. Integrating Science and Practice, 3(2), 14–17.

MacIntosh, H.B. (2019). Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma. Taylor & Francis.

MacIntosh, H. B. (2016). Dyadic traumatic reenactment: An integration of repetition and enactment into the understanding of negative interaction cycles in childhood trauma survivors and their partners in couple therapy. Clinical Social Work, 45(4), 345–353. 

Platt, M. G., & Freyd, J. J. (2015). Betray my trust, shame on me: Shame, dissociation, fear, and betrayal trauma. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 7(4), 398.

Elizabeth Waite, M.A. is a Registered Psychotherapist at the Centre for Interpersonal Relationships (CFIR) working under the clinical supervision of Dr. Jean Kim, C.Psych. and Dr. Heather MacIntosh, C.Psych. Elizabeth provides therapy to adult individuals and couples and has training and interest in treating couples who have an individual or shared history of childhood trauma. She also has experience treating eating disorders and issues relating to anxiety, depression, grief and loss.

Finding Strength in the Storm—Ways to Cope with Infertility

Infertility is a hard road, but it doesn’t have to be one you walk alone. Here are some ways to care for your heart and mind along the way:

1.Build Your Village
Find people who can hold space for you—whether it’s a trusted friend, a support group, or others who’ve walked this path. Sharing your story can lighten the emotional load and remind you that you’re not alone.

2. Seek Professional Support
Therapy can provide a safe space to process grief, manage stress, and navigate this journey with resilience. At the Centre for Interpersonal Relationships (CFIR), we’re here to walk alongside you, offering compassionate, evidence-based support.

3. Practice Radical Self-Compassion
Infertility is not a reflection of your worth. Be kind to yourself. Honour your emotions without judgment, and recognize that your value isn’t tied to this journey.

4. Prioritize Honest Communication
Talk openly with your partner. Share your feelings, fears, and hopes so you can navigate this together as a team. Strengthening your connection will help you weather the ups and downs.

5. Ground Yourself in Restorative Practices
Mindfulness, journaling, gentle movement, or even moments of stillness can help ease emotional overwhelm and create space for clarity.

Infertility doesn’t define you. Your story is one of resilience, courage, and hope. As we honour Canadian Fertility Awareness Week, let’s break the silence together. You are worthy of love, compassion, and support. At CFIR, our therapists are here to guide you, offering care and understanding as you navigate this journey towards healing and hope.  

Help is here. 

Laura Moore, MPsy., is an integrative therapist at the Centre for Interpersonal Relationships (CFIR) in Toronto, specializing in providing compassionate support to individuals and couples on their fertility journey. With expertise in relationship dynamics and the emotional complexities of fertility, Laura creates a safe space to address challenges such as fertility treatments, grief, loss, and maintaining connection in relationships. She also supports clients navigating intimacy, infidelity, separation, and rebuilding after trauma. Laura is dedicated to helping you feel seen, understood, and supported as you move through this deeply personal experience.