As we move into spring, a season often associated with renewal and growth, many of us feel the pull towards change. We set intentions and vow that this time will be different. Yet, the same pattern keeps showing up, whether it’s the usual anxiety, relationship struggles, the inner critic, or you name it.
If this sounds familiar, what you’ve been trying to change may be only the tip of the iceberg. This may be why it hasn’t been working.
The symptoms we experience on the surface, including anxiety, low mood, burnout, and feeling stuck with the same old painful dynamics, are just what we see. But if we take a deeper look and peek under the surface, deeper needs and difficulties can often be found. Often, these deeper layers are rooted in early childhood experiences, emotional patterns, and unconscious beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world, and our longstanding habitual ways of relating to others.
Maybe you know what you do (the symptoms). But do you know why? Maybe you’ve tried coping strategies that help temporarily. But maybe the relief lasts only so long. That can often be because although valuable and helpful, when we change only surface phenomena, we don’t necessarily get to the deeper roots.
This is where evidence-based psychodynamic, and integrative therapy can help.
By focusing on understanding what’s underneath the tip of the iceberg, an integrative and psychodynamically-oriented therapist can help you to explore and work through how your past early experiences shaped the way you feel, think and act today. Usually, these patterns served important protective purposes at the time, to help you adapt and navigate difficult and uncomfortable situations. But today, they might no longer serve you, and what was once protective might now be limiting you and be unhelpful.
An integrative therapist can gently bring these patterns and understandings into awareness, so that you’re no longer just reacting on autopilot. When you begin to recognize your inner world and make sense of it, clarity and self-compassion show up more easily. When you shift from trying to force change to trying to understand yourself more deeply, lasting change becomes more possible.
In moments when you feel ready for something different, you don’t have to figure it out alone. It can be an invitation to reflect on what ”change” really means to you. Instead of asking ”how do I fix myself?”, you might ask ”how can I understand myself better?”.
True healing isn’t about quick ”fixes”. Together, we can create a safe space for what’s gone unheard and unseen for too long, so that by addressing the deeper layers, the surface naturally begins to shift too.
This spring, rather than trying to do more, consider slowing down and going deeper.
Daniela Levi, MSW, MEd, is a Therapist at CFIR, specializing in individuals, couple and family therapy. Her work focuses on self-awareness and strengthening interpersonal relationships through an attachment-based and emotion-focused approach. With a deep passion for the role of emotions in relational dynamics, Daniela helps clients navigate their inner experiences to build deeper connections with themselves and others. She is working under the supervision of Dr. Melodie Britt, C.Psych. Daniela is currently pursuing her Doctorate in Counselling Psychology at the University of Toronto.
