When faced with a challenging or traumatic life experience, many clients often expect that “getting over it” is the goal. These instances, particularly those that are traumatic in nature, reshape how our brains process events, emotions, and relationships. Ongoing and fruitless attempts to reduce symptoms may in fact worsen one’s distress (Harris, 2006). While problem-solving strategies are highly adaptive in the outside world, they are not always applicable within our internal psychological worlds. The more time and energy we spend trying to rid of these negative experiences, the more we may suffer in the long term. Alternatively, compassionate healing recognizes that recovery is a process rather than a destination. Instead of erasing the past, clients are guided towards creating safety, self-understanding, and growth (Harris, 2006).
Though it’s natural for our initial response to distress to be “I want this to go away,” some clients benefit from altering that relationship with difficult thoughts and feelings. Though they are uncomfortable, they are approached with compassion and curiosity rather than the perspective that they are something to “get over.” We experience some form of distress on a daily basis, so allowing room for unpleasant feelings, sensations, and urges to come and go without struggling with them actually helps in reducing their frequency or severity (Harris, 2006). Once we can separate ourselves from our thoughts, we are able to see them as passing events rather than absolute truths. By this perspective, healing happens not by “getting over it,” but my embracing what is, while striving for what can be.
Erin Rehmann, M.A., is a therapist and psychometrist at CFIR. She is supervised by Dr. Mard Becard, C.Psych. Erin provides individual psychotherapy to individual adults with a wide presentation of mental health difficulties, specializing in anxiety, depression, self-esteem challenges, trauma, and emotional dysregulation. She utilizes an integrative and collaborative approach, primarily using person-centred, cognitive behavioural, and acceptance and commitment therapy. Erin also provides psychological assessments to adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.
Harris, R. (2006). Overview of ACT: A brief introduction to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Retrieved from https://static1.squarespace.com/static/509ad2ede4b011ec832812ed/t/5b896b1870a6ad36f8841834/1535732505180/Russ+Harris+-+Overview+of+ACT.pdf
