What if you could conduct an Emotional Intelligence audit in your company? What types of changes could you influence based on the results? What core improvements could your organization implement in order to reach and positively affect more employees? Want a healthy organization that achieves high levels of success? Tap into the key insights that an emotional assessment provides you and your employees.

Emotional intelligence is a set of emotional and social skills that guide the way we perceive and express ourselves, cultivate and maintain social relationships, assess change, cope with challenges and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way.

It is important in your work life to communicate effectively by using emotional data to better understand how your message is being interpreted and send more meaningful information about your intentions in meetings and with team leadership.

Not just for leaders, EI assessments provide immediate insights on how individuals are coping, creating and maintaining relationships, self-awareness and empathy, employing decision making styles and more.

As a certified EQ-i 2.0 assessment provider, we offer robust EI leader, individual and 360 assessment tools. Employees gain new insight and actionable takeaways from EI data. It speaks volumes about what workforce the organization supports and what type of community they want to foster.

Those results could be further developed with leadership coaching and or career counselling to enhance core areas that might need more skill development.

EQ-i 2.0 is an online accessed, self-administered assessment and takes up to 20 minutes to complete. The report is processed and delivered by a certified EQ-i specialist who assists the participant or organization team with interpretation, goal setting and follow-up analysis derived from the EQ-i data.

Key Features are:

• Total EI score with five composite scores measuring distinct aspects of emotional and social functioning
• Deeper understanding of how the results affect a participant’s performance (conflict resolution, change management, teamwork, decision making and leadership)
• Make instant connections between subscales, forming decisions based on EI strengths and potential to improve EI weaknesses
• A Well-Being Indicator to measure your participant’s level of happiness; resulting in additional developmental opportunities
• Reporting designed with results-driven content and insights for action

As a career strategist, Erin Leslie provides career counselling service as well as the Career & Vocational Assessment Service at CFIR; certified in EQ-i 2.0 to compliment one-on-one coaching tailored specifically to individual client needs and corporate training on emotional intelligence development for teams and leaders.

Strengthening Threads: Fostering and Sustaining Friendships in The Seasons of Life

In our quest for friendship, qualities like loyalty and kindness shine brightly. However, deep-rooted relationships require traits that aren’t always in the spotlight. Research points to the importance of confidence, rooted in a clear self-identity, as we navigate life’s changing scenes. Indeed, friendships serve various purposes: some for a reason, others for a season, and a few for a lifetime.

Essential Traits for Enduring Friendships:

1. Adaptability: A friend’s capacity to adjust to life’s flux is invaluable. Their flexibility in the face of change is a testament to genuine support.
2. Confident Self-awareness: Friends who know themselves well offer authenticity and stability, fostering real connection and collective growth.
3. Attentive Listening and Boundaries: A trusted friend knows when to offer advice, when to listen, and when to simply be present.
4. Encouraging Personal Growth: Celebrating each other’s growth is crucial. A true friend supports you not only in stillness but also applauds your successes.

Cultivating New Bonds Later in Life:

As the casual social settings of youth evolve into the busier crossroads of adulthood, finding new friends requires intentionality. Friendships formed later in life often possess an unparalleled richness.

• Common Interests: Shared activities or clubs can be fertile grounds for new friendships.
• Volunteering: Offering time to causes can connect you with like-minded individuals.
• Rekindling Old Friendships: Revisiting past relationships with maturity can rejuvenate bonds.
• Embracing Vulnerability: Authenticity and openness pave the way for meaningful connections, transcending the barriers of time and age.

The Dynamics of Friendship:

Friendships are as fluid as life itself. Some acquaintances teach us lessons, others are companions for particular phases, and some become lifelong partners. By embracing the transience of some friendships, we can fully engage with them. Recognizing the role each friend plays, allows us to appreciate their unique impact.

Friendships enrich our lives with their varied textures and depths. Identifying key attributes of a solid friend and mastering the art of building connections as adults is incredibly rewarding. Through life’s intricate ballet, friends—whether they’re with us for a reason, a season, or a lifetime—harmonize our dance.Laura Moore, MPsy., is a psychodynamic therapist at the Centre For Interpersonal Relationships (CFIR) in Toronto under the supervision of Dr. Lila Z. Hakim, C. Psych. Laura provides psychological services to adults and couples experiencing a wide range of concerns. Laura has a particular interest and expertise in relationship distress, with an emphasis on interpersonal and couple relationship functioning. Laura has helped countless individuals navigate issues related to intimacy, fertility, sex, infidelity, separation and divorce. Additionally, her past research focuses on cultivating spousal attunement following traumatic experiences.

The Depth and Diversity of Women’s Bonds

In the realm of human connections, female friendships are uniquely profound, acting as emotional lifelines through life’s highs and lows. Woven with shared experiences and empathetic exchanges, these relationships are pillars of support.

Women, as research suggests, often communicate with a richness of emotion, creating a tapestry of understanding and intimacy in their friendships. Dr. Deborah Tannen notes that conversation is more than mere words to many women; it’s a channel for affirmation and connection. Yet, this expressiveness can also lead to conflicts due to misunderstandings (Tannen, 2011).

Societal roles have historically placed women as the emotional backbone in relationships, fulfilling yet at times leading to uneven emotional labour or competition among peers (Li et al., 2022).

Psychologically, the merits of female friendships are substantial. They act as shields against mental health struggles, with studies highlighting their role in reducing depression and anxiety (Choi et al., 2020). The ‘love hormone’ oxytocin also plays a crucial role in these bonds, aiding in stress management and being released during meaningful interactions (Taylor et al., 2000).

However, these deep bonds are not without their challenges. Disagreements within female friendships can be as emotionally taxing as romantic breakups, often due to misaligned expectations or life changes.

Recognizing and navigating these complexities is key to maintaining these bonds. Relational psychology underscores the importance of vulnerability and communication in strengthening friendships.

The essence of female friendships lies in their deep dialogues and shared growth. Their influence on mental health and resilience in the face of adversity is profound. While they require care and understanding, the emotional depth they add to life is invaluable. Cherish these bonds, for like all treasured things, they flourish with nurturing and love.

Laura Moore, MPsy., is a psychodynamic therapist at the Centre For Interpersonal Relationships (CFIR) in Toronto under the supervision of Dr. Lila Z. Hakim, C. Psych. Laura provides psychological services to adults and couples experiencing a wide range of concerns. Laura has a particular interest and expertise in relationship distress, with an emphasis on interpersonal and couple relationship functioning. Laura has helped countless individuals navigate issues related to intimacy, fertility, sex, infidelity, separation and divorce. Additionally, her past research focuses on cultivating spousal attunement following traumatic experiences. 

Choi, K. W., et al. (2020). The impact of social relationships on the mental health of women in the United States. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 177(10), 42.

Li, L., Lee, Y., & Lai, D. W. L. (2022). Mental health of employed family caregivers in Canada: A gender-based analysis on the role of workplace support. The International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 95(4), 470-492.

Tannen, D. (2011). Genderlect Styles. In E. Griffin, A. Ledbetter, & G. Sparks (Eds.), A First Look at Communication Theory (10th ed.). McGraw-Hill Education.

Taylor, S. E., Klein, L. C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A. R., & Updegraff, J. A. (2000). Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: Tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight. Psychological Review, 107(3), 411–429.

In this second part of the blog on the stages of change, a few techniques are presented to help you progress from one stage to another or support a loved one going through a process of change. However, note that returning to a previous stage is not a failure. Maybe it can be seen as a reminder that more work had to be done in this previous stage before progressing to the next stage. Humans are constantly changing and adapting to external and internal situations; therefore, it is normal that our motivation also fluctuates.

1. Precontemplation: At this stage, as you may not be aware that the behaviour is problematic yet, it can be helpful to start by simply evaluating it and thinking about what you want or need. In other words, we want to develop a more conscious awareness of the behaviour.
   • How to help someone during the precontemplation stage:
     • Offer support and active listening.
     • Provide information about the impacts of the behaviour, in a non-judgmental way.
2. Contemplation: As you are starting to recognize the impacts of the behaviour, you may want to identify the pros and cons of making a change. This can help to see how your life could be different, should you modify the behaviour in any way.
   • How to help someone during the contemplation stage:
     • Make space to discuss the pros and cons of change with the person.
     • Let the person decide for themselves if they want to change the behaviour.
3. Preparation: At this stage we want to identify any obstacles that may get in the way of making a change, as well as the skills and steps needed to make it happen.
   • How to help someone during the preparation stage: 
     • Help the person identify any obstacles.
     • Encourage the person in their decision and planning.
4. Action: Here we want to use your support system and coping strategies to make the plan happen for as long as you can. Remember, it is normal to return to the preparation stage (or another previous stage), and think of more pros and cons or identify other obstacles that made it difficult to follow through with the plan. 
   • How to help someone during the action stage:
     • Reach-out and check-in with the person.
     • Remind them of the long-term benefits of their goals.
     • Play a supportive role in the life of the person.
5. Maintenance: After the action plan has been put in place and practiced, we want to identify strategies and coping tools to help maintain it for a longer period. The idea is to have tools that can be helpful to support you as you experience a whole range of emotions (e.g.: What/who will you turn to when you are happy? When you are sad? Do you feel at risk of going back to the old behaviour if you have a bad day?).
   • How to help someone during the maintenance stage: 
     • Remind the person of their strengths and what they have accomplished so far.
     • Help the person develop a plan to support them in the long-term.

If you are experiencing challenges in changing a behaviour or are finding it difficult to support a loved one in their own process of change, know that therapists at CFIR-CPRI are available to support you. Our professionals are trained to support you to better understand what prevents you from attaining the changes you are hoping for, and to develop your motivation to change. Contact us via admin@cfir.ca and a member of our team will be happy to assist you.

Natalie Guenette, M.A., R. P. is a Registered Psychotherapist who works with adults in both English and French. She works with an integrative framework and provides services to those experiencing a broad range of difficulties, including substance use, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, and trauma.  

Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck and unable to change a behaviour? Not having the motivation to make the necessary change? Feeling like ‘it’s just not the right time yet’? This might be because you are still ambivalent about changing.

The stages of change model (Prochaska et al., 1992) describes 5 stages that individuals experience when trying to change. Research shows that this model is an effective tool to help change a broad spectrum of behaviours, including addictions (Rahian, N. & Cogburn, M., 2023). It is important to note that it is common, and normal, to switch between stages and fall back to a stage we had previously ‘completed’, as the changing process is NOT linear. 

1. Precontemplation: At this stage, individuals may not see their behaviour as a problem, and therefore, may not think about changing it. There can be resistance to make any modification and/or to receive support. There is often denial about the problematic behaviour. 
2. Contemplation: In this second phase, individuals are starting to recognize and acknowledge that the behaviour may be problematic and are starting to consider changing it. Due to the ambivalence felt towards the worthiness of the changing process, individuals can often remain stuck at this stage for some time. During the contemplation stage, individuals are usually considering the pros and cons of change, although, because the behaviour is still serving them in some way, the cons associated with the change continue to outweigh the perceived pros.
3. Preparation: individuals are committed to change at this stage and have usually started taking steps toward change. An action plan is set, and the pros of changing are now outweighing the cons. 
4. Action: While in the action stage, individuals are actively involved in modifying their behaviour. This is usually the shortest stage, and when they are at the highest risk to go back to the initial behaviour, or, in other words, to relapse. 
5. Maintenance: This final stage is when individuals have maintained the changed behaviour for about six months. The risk of relapsing has reduced, and they are building their confidence in their ability to maintain the new coping strategies developed throughout the changing process.  

Therapists at CFIR-CPRI can help support you to better understand what may prevent you from attaining the changes you are hoping for, and also to develop your motivation to change. Contact us via admin@cfir.ca and a member of our team will be happy to assist you.

Natalie Guenette, M.A., R. P. is a Registered Psychotherapist who works with adults in both English and French. She works with an integrative framework and provides services to those experiencing a broad range of difficulties, including substance use, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, and trauma.  

School can be difficult for children of any age, with academic and social pressures increasing with every new grade. Children who struggle in school can be at risk for a host of negative experiences such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and behavioural and social issues. As time goes on and workloads increase, struggling children may find that the strategies that have helped them in the past are no longer working effectively and it takes more time and even more effort just to maintain the level at which they are currently performing. When difficulties are left unaddressed, children can often feel lost, unsupported, and hopeless about the future. Fortunately, there are ways to identify children’s difficulties and how to better support them both in school and at home. One such way is a psychoeducational assessment, conducted by a psychologist and their relevant team.  

What is a Psychoeducational Assessment?     

A psychoeducational assessment helps children in many ways. It can help:    

• Identify areas of strength along with areas of difficulty 
• Determine the presence of learning disabilities, and/or disorders such as ADHD and ASD. 
• Determine the presence of giftedness       

The aim of this kind of assessment is to provide a better understanding of your child’s development relative to other children their age and can help get your child the supports they need at school. The report received from this assessment can be provided to your child’s school to inform them of the types of supports or accommodations your child is likely to benefit from so that they can perform to the best of their ability (e.g., extra time, one-on-one support). It can even act as a basis to monitor progress and change over time, throughout your child’s academic career (in the case of multiple assessments).  

A psychoeducational assessment can provide you and your child with a better understanding of themselves, their abilities, and can set them up to learn strategies to help them succeed both in and outside of school.  

If you believe a psychoeducational assessment may be helpful for your child, our CFIR-CPRI clinicians are ready to support you in this process. Contact us via admin@cfir.ca and a member of our team will be happy to assist you.

Massimo Di Domenico, M.A.,is a therapist working under the supervision of Dr. Nalini Iype, C.Psych. and is also working towards the completion of his PhD in Clinical Developmental Psychology. He provides both treatment and assessment services to individuals of all ages – children, adolescents, and adults. Working with an integrative framework, he treats those suffering from depression and anxiety, difficulties in social relationships, and concerns related to parenting and family dynamics. For those seeking answers on how they, or their child, learn or work best, he also provides assessment services for learning disorders and ADHD.

Trauma and chronic stress deeply affect our bodies and minds, leaving lasting imprints in our cognitive and physiological memory. Physiological memory stores the physical sensations and reactions tied to traumatic experiences, which can resurface through triggers and lead to recurring distressing symptoms. 

Body-based therapies recognize the vital role of the body in trauma healing. By integrating body and mind, these therapies provide effective tools to unlock deep healing potential. They encourage us to reconnect with our bodily sensations, movements, and postures, tapping into the wisdom of the body. This process allows for the exploration and release of tension, leading to increased body awareness. 

A key aspect of body-based therapies is learning to regulate our physical responses. Therapists can help clients gain a better understanding of their bodily impulses and sensations, guiding them in safely navigating trauma-related sensations. By gradually learning skills to regulate arousal levels, we can regain control over our bodies, promoting resilience and regulation. 

Body-based therapies also focus on integrating traumatic experiences into our overall narrative. By bridging cognitive and physiological aspects of trauma, we can form a coherent and compassionate understanding of our journey. This integration cultivates a sense of safety, healing, and wholeness. 

Recognizing the interconnectedness of our bodies and minds is crucial for healing trauma and chronic stress. Body-based therapies offer powerful pathways to overcome these challenges while honouring the wisdom of the body. By embracing these approaches, we can embark on transformative journeys toward healing, resilience, and a renewed sense of well-being. 

Grabbe, L. (2017). The Trauma Resiliency Model: A “Bottom-Up” Intervention for Trauma

Psychotherapy. Journal of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association, 24(1). https:/

doi.org/10.1177/1078390317745133 

Fisher, J. (2011). Sensorimotor Approaches to Trauma Treatment. Advances in psychiatric

treatment,17, 171–177. doi: 10.1192/apt.bp.109.007054 

Fisher, J. (2019). Sensorimotor Psychotherapy in the Treatment of Trauma. Practice Innovations,

4(3), 156-165. https://janinafisher.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/sensorimotor

psychotherapy-trauma.pdf 

Laura McKinney, B.A., is a therapy and assessment practicum student working under the supervision of Dr. Lila Hakim, C. Psych., currently completing her master’s in psychology. As a practicum student, Laura offers therapy at a discounted rate. She is passionate about helping clients heal from trauma and chronic stress. Please check out her profile on the Toronto team page on the CFIR website for more information.”

Cancer can completely upend your life and the lives of those who love you. It not only affects you physically, but also has profound emotional and psychological consequences for everyone involved. From the moment you receive the diagnosis to the often challenging or even excruciating medical treatments, cancer brings a whirlwind of difficulties that can lead to symptoms of posttraumatic stress. People living with cancer may have symptoms of post-traumatic stress at any point from diagnosis through treatment, after treatment is complete, or during recurrence. This can range from experiencing irritability, hypervigilance, and sleep disturbances, to loss of interest in life and feeling detached from oneself or reality.  

In simple terms, the trauma of cancer can greatly reduce your ability to handle and cope with stress and emotions, narrowing your “window of tolerance.” Within this window of tolerance, we usually feel safe, calm, and capable of effectively managing stress and emotions. However, cancer pushes us to our limits, often causing this window to shrink. It becomes much more challenging to find that sense of safety and calmness in the face of overwhelming stress. 

However, survivors of cancer also often report experiencing posttraumatic growth (PTG) after their journey. PTG refers to the positive psychological changes that can occur in people following the experience of a traumatic event or significant life crisis. PTG can include improved relationships, new possibilities for life, a greater appreciation for life, increased personal strength, and spiritual development. 

PTG coexists with personal distress and does not diminish the emotional impact of traumatic events or the amount of work that it takes to achieve it. It is not a universal or inevitable outcome for all people who experience trauma, but by working with a mental health practitioner, you can work towards achieving PTG. Embracing the potential for posttraumatic growth means embracing the opportunity to discover new paths and possibilities that may have never been considered before. It means finding a deeper appreciation for what life has to offer and a renewed sense of purpose. 

Cancer-related post-traumatic stress. National Cancer Institute. (n.d.). https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/survivorship/new-normal/ptsd-pdq  

Jim, H. S., & Jacobsen, P. B. (2008). Posttraumatic stress and posttraumatic growth in cancer survivorship: A Review. The Cancer Journal, 14(6), 414–419. https://doi.org/10.1097/ppo.0b013e31818d8963  

Tedeschi, R.G. & Calhoun, L. (2004). Posttraumatic Growth: A New Perspective on Psychotraumatology. 21(4). https://www.bu.edu/wheelock/files/2018/05/Article-Tedeschi-and-Lawrence-Calhoun-Posttraumatic-Growth-2014.pdf 

Laura McKinney, B.A., is a therapy and assessment practicum student working under the supervision of Dr. Lila Hakim, C. Psych., currently completing her master’s in psychology. Alongside her placement at CFIR, Laura is training as a therapist at Princess Margaret Cancer Centre, where she is working with individuals living with cancer. As a practicum student, Laura offers therapy at a discounted rate. Please check out her profile on the Toronto team page on the CFIR website for more information.

 The idea of being ‘authentic’ pops up often in popular psychology. It’s now common parlance to say, ‘just be yourself’. But if you are like me, at some point, you might have frustratingly wondered what does that mean? And what does it mean when we are not being authentic?   

Dr. Donald Winnicott’s theory of true and false self is helpful in answering these questions. In his work as a pediatrician and psychoanalyst, he saw infants as essentially a ball of needs and desires that expresses themselves spontaneously through cries, laughs, screams, and bites. Healthy development, in his view, requires a period when the child doesn’t have to be concerned with the worries and expectations of those who are taking care of them. This requires caregivers to adapt and create a holding environment that allows them to express themselves however they wish. This period of authenticity is the foundation for building a self that knows what I like what I don’t like, what my interests and passions are, and a sense that my needs are legitimate, and I can reasonably expect others to respond to them. 

We run into trouble when we are required to comply to the demands of others far too early and not having experienced much of that holding environment that allowed us to be ourselves. Perhaps a parent was depressed and overwhelmed, or a parent was often annoyed or in a rage. In these circumstances the child would have to prematurely comply, to take care of others, and to be another version of themselves—a false self. In adult life, we may become very good at taking care of others’ needs but struggle to feel satisfied in relationships. We might excel at work but find it unfulfilling. We might find ourselves having the right ‘things’ in life but lacking vitality. 

Psychotherapy is almost like a second chance for us to be in a holding environment where we can reconnect with thoughts, feelings, desires, physical felt sense that has been put away and forgotten. To be able to experience joy, anger, aggression; to scream and to laugh without being punished or shamed. From there, a more authentic sense of ourselves filled with vitality can be grown. 

Clinicians at CFIR take an integrative approach that incorporate multiple approaches such as psychodynamic, emotion-focused, and cognitive-behavioural therapies to help you reconnect with your authentic self and foster vitality in your life. 

Shaofan Bu is a Doctoral Candidate at McGill University studying Counselling Psychology. He is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) under the supervision of Dr. Dino Zuccarini. 

Shame is a powerful and overwhelming emotion that can cause people to withdraw from their relationships. Shame can also make it challenging to communicate openly and honestly with others. Feeling ashamed can affect one’s ability to express their authentic wants, needs and desires and hinder intimacy and connection.

Once you become aware of someone’s shame, sit with them in it and do not attempt to change or move past it. However, there are ways that you can overcome shame; here are 5 ways to start healing the feeling:

The 5 S’s of Healing Shame

SEE – Identify shame triggers and learn about how these affect you in your relationships.

SELF-TALK – You can change how you talk to yourself by changing what you say. For example, if your inner critic tells you that “you are not enough,” try replacing this with a statement like “I am enough” or something else in line with the truth of who and what is really important for you.

SAFETY – Recognize the urge to isolate in order to feel safe as you move through the feelings of shame. When another person creates a safe environment, you are able to be vulnerable.

SHARE – By sharing your story, the other person can regulate your emotions and respond with empathy and understanding. 

SHAKE– Set boundaries and let go of the relationships perpetuating the shame cycle where you are not seen, heard and understood.

Therapy can also be an antidote to shame as it provides a framework to learn and act on the 5 S’s of healing shame. In addition, therapy offers a safe environment to be vulnerable, share your story, understand your shame triggers, and develop distress tolerance skills.

Vulnerability and empathy are the antidotes to shame. Although sharing how you feel may seem counterintuitive, it is essential in mitigating the painful effects of shame.

Laura Moore, MPsy., is a psychodynamic therapist at the Centre For Interpersonal Relationships (CFIR) in Toronto under the supervision of Dr. Lila Z. Hakim, C. Psych. Laura provides psychological services to adults and couples experiencing a wide range of concerns. Laura has a particular interest and expertise in relationship distress, with an emphasis on interpersonal and couple relationship functioning. Laura has helped countless individuals navigate issues related to intimacy, fertility, sex, infidelity, separation and divorce. Additionally, her past research focuses on cultivating spousal attunement following traumatic experiences.